"There's no crying in baseball!"

When you have a grumpy baby.....who likes to fight sleep......and their bottle....sometimes you yourself just need a good cry. Eli and I have shared many a tear filled moment (well, he just turns red in the face, and I let the tears flow). Sometimes motherhood is overwhelming and you just need some help.

Eli and I have done alot of growing since he was born. I learned that I can't do a lot of things on my own. I need to step back and say "Yo People! I need a little help over here!" Eli has learned to eat and poop at the same time. What can I say? We all have our priorities.

I decided to do this blog as a way for me to let out some of the overwhelming feelings that I am experiencing through this new adventure called motherhood. I need some outlet, and am just not comfortable posting on the family blog. I needed a place for myself.

I am tired. I am just starting to not feel overwhelmed with this very big undertaking that Shay and I have decided to embark on: Parenthood. I wish that Shay was home more often, and that he got to see Eli a little more frequently. I am sad that by 5:00pm I am ready to hand a screaming Eli (because that is the witching hour when he becomes inconsolable) to Shay and say "Here buddy, you haven't had to hear this for the last hour, its your frickin turn, I am going to take a bubble bath."

I am thankful that Shay does the 3:00am feeding, so I can sleep til atleast 6:30am, but I am sad that we have lost some of the cuddling, the sleeping in, (not that we did much with Sprocket around) and the adult conversation. I love Eli, and I adore what he brings to our lives, I just miss some of the other peices that used to fit so nicely.

Being a mom is hard, and I may bitch and moan sometimes, but that is my right. I love my son and everything that he represents. He is my world and he is the only person that has ever heard my heart beat from the inside, which makes him the most special person on the planet!

Posted by Cortney at 10:22 PM